11 Months!

Elaine turned 11 months yesterday! The countdown is on for the big One Year! I feel like I should be more on top of this whole mom thing by now, but every month that passes seems to change the game. I think I'll just need to accept that  I'll never really know what the heck I'm doing and just be happy that I've kept her alive and free of any major injuries. She's happy with things, so I should be, too!

Some highlights from the past month:

• She finally got some teeth--two on the bottom!
• Her table food options are expanding--avocoado chunks remains her favorite staple, but she also really likes cauliflower and was scarfing up tofu last night. She LOVES cheese! We can only put a few pieces on her tray at a time or else she'll shove it all in her mouth at once.
• She's started walking while we hold onto her hands and has ventured to take a few steps on her own, but that still results in her tumbling to the ground.
• She can wave good-bye and say "ba"--which we think is "bye."
• She knows how to throw a great temper tantrum and has become a bit of a bully at daycare, taking toys from the other kids and shoving/hitting when she doesn't get her way. The teachers assure us it happens to all kids at this age and say she's not the worst, but still not the report you want to get at the end of the day.
• And to end on a good note, her smile and giggles continue to get better with every passing day!

Here's the link to the latest group of digital documentation on Lainey. Quite a few videos in this bunch: Elaine's 11th Month

I love this girl!!!

Ohio...the Heart of it All!

A big reason I was so delayed in my Mother's Day post is we were gearing up for our trip to Ohio. It was a good, but very busy trip. I tried very hard to just go with the flow, but I had one or two (or three or four) mini meltdowns. I was trying to keep Lainey on some semblance of a schedule and still fit in everything I wanted to do. I thought it was hard making the rounds in Ohio before Elaine arrived...it's a whole new ballgame now. Every morning I'd psych myself up that I wasn't going to worry about "the schedule" and every afternoon, I would be stressed out and upset that I didn't try harder to get Lainey fed or napped at a certain time.

Lainey also came down with a double ear infection and started cutting her second tooth. Now, she's not a great sleeper when we travel anyway, so you can imagine how horribly she slept this time. Mark and I actually slept on the couch Saturday night, so she could have a room all to herself. It was worth it...she slept until 5am.

I don't want to sound all gloom and doom about the trip. We had a lot of fun! The weather was gorgeous and Lainey took her first trip to the zoo. (Although, she was much more intersted in pulling at the landscaping than looking at the animals.) We had a playdate with Liam, my best friend Amanda's nephew and daily ward (she's his nanny), and managed to squeeze in a visit with my other besties, Katie and Meredith. We also had a visit from some of my extended family. Quite an accomplishment for only three non-travel days!

I would say Elaine's favorite part of the trip (other than seeing her grandpa and Uncle Chris) was either climbing the stairs or playing in Grandpa's tupperware cupboard. Tough call...

Looking back, I wouldn't change how we did things. We got to spend time with people we love and a few bad days of napping and eating won't ruin Lainey forever (but, it has appeared to ruin her for now--it's been a challenging week thus far). Hugs and kisses to my Ohio peeps! If I didn't get to see you this time, you're at the top of the list for the next visit!

Our girl was not in the mood for photo ops this trip (would NOT look at the camera), but here are a few shots to enjoy!

My little monkey!



Hanging out with Amanda and Liam



A future romance?

Lainey's new toy box

Climbing the stairs for the 100th time!

 



My First Mother's Day!

I'm a little late with this post, but that's the way things go! My first Mother's Day was great! Beautiful weather, awesome breakfast of biscuits and gravy made by Mark, peaceful massage, and an happy little Lainey to spend the day with!

My wonderful, thoughtful, simply AMAZING husband out did himself again on my gift. He bought a simple silver locket from Tiffany's (extra points for the little blue box) and put a picture of my mother on one side and a picture of ont he other.

Of course I bawled like a baby when I opened the locket. Mark said, "I didn't want to make you cry, but I knew you would." Good tears though...very, very good tears! You are a man among men, Mark Brandi! And I am a very lucky woman!

My favorite ladies close to my heart everyday!

Missing Mom

Last year at this time, Lainey was still snuggled tight in my womb, so tomorrow will be my first official Mother's Day. It will also be my first Mother's Day without my mom. She would have been 66 this past Thursday.

It's been a little over six months since Mom died, and while it's getting easier to remember her and talk about her, I have yet to go a week without crying. I miss her. I miss having the opportunity to share this stage of my life with her. There were a lot things my mother did that frustrated me, but she would have been an incredible grandmother. It still breaks my heart that she's missing out on Lainey's wonderful little life and that Lainey will only know her through the stories I share.

When she was alive, Mom and I talked two to three times a week (sometimes more). She was always my sounding board...whether it being over something that was frustrating me or exciting me, Mom was the first person I called. We didn't always see eye-to-eye (actually, we probably disagreed more than agreed), but even when I knew her advice was going to annoy me, I still wanted to make that call.

My mother certainly wasn't perfect, and I can't say that I plan to be the same kind of mother she was. But, she was a better mom to me than my grandmother to her, and I hope to be better for Lainey than she was for me. And then Lainey will be the best of us all. Isn't that how it goes? We learn from the mistakes of our mothers, so we can be wiser, stronger, kinder mothers ourselves.

Mistakes aside, there are plenty of things that I will do exactly as she did. I will take Lainey to every Disney or Sesame Street on Ice show out there and read her Sleeping Beauty 10,000 times, if she wants. I will chaperone every field trip I possibly can and be home room mother for her school classrooms. I'll let her try every sport, musical instrument, or hobby under the sun, even if I know it won't hold her interest for more than a day. But, I won't let her be a quitter. If she doesn't like everything she tries, she doesn't have to stick with it forever, but she has to finish her initial commitment.

I'll hold her when she hurts, but toughen her up when she's being too sensitive. I'll tell her I'm proud of her and tell her I love her and give her hugs and kisses every single day.

Mom had a rule; you never got off the phone or parted ways without saying “I love you.”  You could be fuming mad with each other, but you still said it. My last conversation with her was during my parents' ride to Chicago the day she died. She and Dad were sparring over his driving (she was a horrible backseat driver). I was overly tired from a rough night with Lainey.  The conversation was short and a little tense, but the last thing we said was “I love you.”

So, as Mother's Day comes, I will take the time to miss my mother.  I will cry and I will laugh remembering her life and our time together. I will also celebrate the unbelievable blessing of my darling little girl and imagine all the wonderful memories we will build together.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I can't talk to you anymore, but you're still with me every day.

Three Generations

Happy Birthday, Mom!

We miss you!

Our Little Baller!

It's been a busy few weeks, so not much time for blogging. But, to keep her fans satisfied, I'm posting a quick video of Lainey showing off her new ball-throwing skills!