Peace Out Sippy Cup

Nick is done with the sippy cup (at least when dining at the table) and on to a plastic tumbler just like big sis! It seems like just yesterday we were doing this with Lainey. *Sigh* It really does go so fast...

Check out my happy boy and his mad cup skillz!

5 Minutes

So far, I've been doing a solid job of keeping my cool and focusing on keeping it fun in 2015. I've been pausing and breathing before reacting to misbehaviors instead of lashing out and yelling at the first sign of trouble. I'm pretty proud of my progress, except for one, very bad, very UNPROUD night of conflict with the kiddos--but, I've made my peace with that night and Lainey still says I'm the "best Mommy ever," so she's made hers, too. Hopefully, Nick just doesn't remember. 

I had a pretty miserable cold last week and was very short on sleep from a stressful work week and two kids who didn't want to sleep (evidently Lainey no longer requires the permission of the green light for it to be OK to Wake). Although I had a chore list a make long, I indulged in afternoon naps both days to catch up on sleep and kick the sniffles. And miracle of miracles, we all seem to be surviving without folded laundry or scrubbed floors and are still peacefully co-habitating with the dust bunnies. And the extra sleep made me a much more agreeable person, which I think makes everyone happier than a pristine house. 

I've recommitted to my "no phone rule" between 6-8pm weekday nights, something I had become pretty lax on in recent months. As of this weekend, I've added to the mix a five-minute rule--for me, not the kids. I have a terrible habit of telling the kids "just five minutes" when they want me to play, but I'm doing some terribly pressing thing like washing dishes. Well, five minutes can easily turn into 25 when you keep sneaking in "just one more quick thing." So, now I'm setting timer for five minutes to do some sort of chore--clean-up after a meal, change the bedding, etc. When the timer is up, I drop what I'm doing and re-engage with the kids. Sometimes I finish, sometimes I don't. But, the timer keeps me honest. By Sunday night, Lainey was starting to get feel for how long five minutes is and left me alone to do my thing--or maybe she just started trusting I really would come to her as promised, so she didn't need to follow-up every 30 seconds. Regardless, it stopped her whining and my frustrated sighs of "I'm coming!" And it also makes me hustle a little more to get stuff done, so I don't have to leave a lone glass in the dishwasher or a pile of crumbs on the edge of the counter. Even if I didn't get as far as I wanted in my five minutes, I got something done, making me feel less twitchy about all the things that needed tending to and able to enjoy our game of Uno or Legos or whatever the kids wanted to play. It was nice. I feel like I'm finally making strides in finding the balance I've been craving. It might not happen every day, but this weekend was a good starting place!

Friends

"And I'll act like I have faith and like that faith never ends,

but I really just have friends." -- Dar Williams

It's been a stressful start to 2015, but I was treated this past weekend by a wonderful visit from some old friends with new(ish) babies (okay, so mine aren't babies any more). I hosted a brunch so the old gang could get together in a kid-friendly, low pressure environment. My friend Joan traveled in from San Francisco with her younger daughter, Jocelyne; Matt, Tracy and little Connor made the trek from Old Town; and Terri and brand new baby Charlie headed out from Lincoln Park. It was a different gathering than we would have had 10 years ago, but I love seeing us at this stage of our lives and still feeling a connection even when visits are far and few between. I just felt warm inside the entire day!

I got to follow-up my lovely morning by a night out with my guy and a group of friends to celebrate Daryn's 40th birthday (it was at Daryn's 30th birthday party that Mark and I first met). The event was a cooking class, but I'll shamelessly admit that after cracking a few eggs for the homeade pasta, I took a backseat with my glass of wine and just gabbed the night away and waited for my dinner to be served. There were too many cooks in the kitchen anyway...I was helping by staying out of the way, right? Mark had volunteered to be DD this time, so I didn't have to monitor my wine intake and was able to just unwind for a few hours and catch up with the crew. 

And to top off all this wonderful friend time, two of my besties in the world, Meredith and Katie, locked in to come to Chicago in April. We're getting a hotel, and I'm leaving Mark with the kids for 48 hours of non-stop girl time!!! I can't wait! Spending time with these ladies is just like slipping on a favorite, well worn sweatshirt...warm and comfortable. 

A few months ago when I was feeling a little overwhelmed and a lot out-of-touch I wrote a post about my worries that I wasn't tending well enough to my friendships. But, at the end of the day, it's the quality, not the quantity, of time you spend together. And the friendships that are true can weather a lapse in communication and still pick back up where they left off. The true friends will understand and will be happy to see your number pop up on their phone or your email in their inbox or your face at the door...whether its been two days or two years. 

Thanks, friends!

Holding babies instead of beer bottles!

Chefs for a night

2015 - The First 10 Days

Well, so far 2015 has brought its highs and lows. We kicked off the year with Christmas #3 in Moline with the Brandi clan. Wonderful time as always and Lainey is again begging to go back to Grandma's house every day. We celebrated birthdays for Oliver (6), Amelia (8), and Jacob (almost 14--something I just CANNOT wrap my mind around)! The only blight on the weekend was a trip to the urgent care center (wouln't be the holidays without one) to get Nick treated for an ear infection. Luckly it didn't affect his spirits, so he was still able to enjoy the fun!

On Monday, I started my new job and it's kicking my butt, however, I mean that in the best possible way! It feels great to be working with people I know and respect and to be challenged again. This week has been a little rough because my boss had been holding things for me for a little over a month, so on day one I was more than four weeks behind, plus I spent the majority of this first week training in the restaurants, not at my desk. Not to mention, I had to work from home on Tuesday (only my second day on the job), because our furnace blew...at 1:30 AM...while Mark was in Las Vegas.

So, the furnace. Ugh. We had just had it inspected and knew a breakdown was coming, but were hoping to get some more out of it with a replacement part. I guess the sub-zero temps were just too much. We were lucky and were able to get it replaced that day or I would have had to head to a hotel with the kids. I kept them in bed with me and we stayed pretty toasty, but the house got down to about 54 degrees before I could take them to daycare. The temp proceeded to drop to 46 degrees at its lowest. The repairman had it up and running by around 2:00 PM and we were back to 72 degrees before I went to bed that night. The kids got to skip baths, because it was only 67 after dinner and it had been a long, stressful day for me, so I took the easy route and watched some cartoons with them instead.

I would love to say I stayed cool and calm under the pressure, but I didn't. I flung more than a few four-letter words at Mark over the fact that we didn't just go ahead and replace the furnace instead of trying a temporary fix. But, after I pulled myself together, I called back and apologized. I realized that even if we had decided to go ahead and replace it, we still wouldn't have done it until later in the week, because we had been out of town, and then Mark was traveling for work and I had a new job. And I really didn't need to freak out so much about having to work from home, because my boss already knows I'm a solid worker and would be understanding (and he was). And finally, it hit me that while this was a huge inconvience to us, that's all it was. An inconvenience. I started thinking about all those parents out there who really had no way to keep their children warm and couldn't just suck it up, fork over a credit card, and buy a new furnace. So what if this expense pushes back some of our renovation projects? It's not going to stop us from paying the mortgage or buying groceries. And with those thoughts, I snuggled my kiddos in close and was able to get about an hour or so of sleep before starting my very cold day at home.

All is going well now though! First week done at the job, and I get a full week in the office starting Monday. Nick is done with antibiotics and seems to be feeling fine. And we have HEAT!!!

Hope the New Year is off to a fabulous start for all of you!!!

Happy Birthdays!

Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma Brandi

Happy New Year! (A day late...)

I didn't get around to writing yesterday. We were busy taking down Christmas decorations and packing for Moline, and then I needed a good nap, because we actually did some late-night partying to welcome 2015. We rang in the new year with our good friends the O'Gradys and McClains ( thanks again for hosting OGs!) We let the kids zonk out upstairs while the adults got their party on downstairs. All went smoothly with the kids except for a minor tussle over a princess pillow--seems you shouldn't let a three-year-old and four-year-old stay up past 10pm and then expect them to be reasonable about sharing a coveted item. But, once the situation was settled, we were free to enjoy some adult time, including a game of Cards Against Humanity, which was hilarious. For those of you who aren't familiar, it's the R-rated version of Apples to Apples. There was more than one round when I thought, "we're all going to Hell for this." We had a blast, and it felt great not to be in my PJs at 10pm on NYE!

I didn't get my act together on the resolutions front. There are several things I'd like to set goals for this year, but I just haven't taken the time to really think them through and set reasonable expectations. I was feeling a little pressure the morning of New Year's Eve to sit down and get a few resolutions locked in, but then I realized January 1 is a day like any other. It has some nice symbolism to it, but I can decide to make a change just as easily on January 2, 3, or 4 (or May 16 for that matter), and I'm no more likely to stick to a new plan or hit a goal if I set it on New Year's Eve or later. 

One thing I know I want to work on is something I've talked about and struggled with since Lainey was born--letting the small stuff go, so I don't miss out on the big stuff, (and really to just make life easier in general). I'm applying the "fake it until you make it" philosophy. I can't just wake up tomorrow and not let the dirty dishes on the  counter bother me, while I build Lego creations with the kids.  But, I can force myself to build that Lego castle and ignore the itch to tell the kids "just 5 minutes," while I tidy the kitchen. And if I keep forcing myself to choose the fun, I'm hoping eventually that becomes my automatic choice. 

And it's not all about choosing fun and ignoring chores. It's also about picking my battles and knowing when it's important to hold my ground and when to let it go. I had my first test yesterday, when dressing Lainey. She was in her room for a time out for hitting (an offense to hold my ground on), but while she was in there she decided to get dressed. Only problem was she put on her dirty clothes from the day before. I let her keep the pants on (let it go), but the shirt was covered in spaghetti sauce, so it had to come off. While I was rummaging though her drawer for a shirt, she pulled out a sundress she wanted to wear. Sure! I just needed to get a shirt to layer under it.  (Look at me! Free and breezy!) Lainey was in total agreement to layer, but she wanted to wear her Frozen shirt under the dress to which I replied, "No honey, not that shirt. It won't match." She started pouting, and I sighed, gearing up for a fight. (Mayday, mayday! Getting tense up in here!) But I stopped myself. Who cares that this is a heinous outfit?Well, I cared, but I pretended I didn't and handed the shirt and dress over to her. She was happy, there was no yelling, and we went happily on about our morning.  And below is the result...I must say, she knows how to work it!

This was a pretty easy test, we weren't going anywhere, so other than offending my eyes, there were no issues letting Lainey wear exactly what she wanted. Let's see if I can have the same flexible attitude when she wants to wear this get-up to a friend's birthday party. Wish me luck on my journey!

                                         

                                    Working her houndstooth, polka dots, multi-color look!