Last Friday I saw the stage production of Dirty Dancing. It. Was. SPECTACULAR! For that two hours, I was completely having the time of my life. They kept it very true to the movie, right down to the inflections in the actors' dialogue and the nuances of the dance choreography. It's such a nostalgic movie for me that I couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even as Dr. Houseman was tending to Penny's botched abortion.
It was at that point, however, that I thought, "Huh. I watched this movie when I was 8-years-old." ALL of my friends did--it was the hot sleepover hit of the year. Granted, much of the adult themes went right over our heads. For instance, I clearly remember explaining the movie to my parents and telling them that Penny got "knocked up" and watching their jaws drop. I had no clue what I was talking about. Mom explained it meant she was pregnant, but that wasn't a nice way to say it. But even with my new found lingo, they didn't forbid me from watching it and I am sure it made a showing at my own birthday party that year. Even so, I have to wonder, "will I let Lainey watch this in four years?"
The "when is it okay to" is a hot topic among my parent friends right now and something Mark and I have started debating frequently. I do think that, as a society, we've become a little too protective, or just downright paranoid. Every family's situation is different. Kids have different maturity levels and live in different communities, so there is no one age fits all for decisions. But, for the most part, it should be up to the parents to decide when there kid is old enough to do certain things like to walk to the park with friends or stay home for the afternoon alone. There have been so many new stories lately about parents being arrested or brought up on neglect charges simply for giving their kids a little more freedom than what their neighbor was comfortable with. So it freaks me out a little. Right now, I wouldn't let Lainey ride around the block by herself. I would probably let her do it with the eight-year-old who lives behind us. But, I would be worried. Not about Lainey or her safety, but about someone else judging the choice and calling the cops. When did we start making that leap?
Last Saturday, we let a 12-year-old babysit for Nick. I talked to her at our block party and she had just taken her babysitting class through Girl Scouts. We needed a sitter, so game on! It was for about three hours in the middle of the day and her parents were home just down the block. But, a few people I've talked to can't believe we did that. But, I babysat when I was 12. And to tell you the truth, she was probably more prepared and attentive that the teenagers we have sit. When we came home, she and Nick were playing together with his toys--not zoning out in front of the TV--AND she washed, dried, and put away all of the lunch dishes. She WILL be making a return visit to our house.
I guess this parenting thing just stays tough. You trade in one set of struggles and dilemmas for another as they grow. And the rules seem to keep changing as you go along. As always, I'll just try to enjoy the here and now, worry about the future stuff when the time comes, and focus on the really important questions of the present--like do we wait to show Lainey Star Wars until Nick is also old enough to see it? This is going to be a tough one for Mark...I'll just support him the best that I can.
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