Weight of the Matter

Lainey had her three-year check-up yesterday. The good news is she is a happy, well-developed little girl. She did great answering the doctor’s questions and FINALLY agreed to stand on the scale alone! I credit her newfound cooperation to a well-timed episode of Daniel Tiger visiting the doctor and, of course, Doc McStuffins.  

But, all was not rosy. It turns out Lainey’s BMI is a little too high and she is, in fact, overweight. Not by much—we’re talking one pound—but, she’s “at risk” for a weight problem. This news was like a punch in my gut. The doctor started talking about making better food choices and seeing that Lainey’s getting plenty of physical activity. I sat there trying to keep cool and not scream “but, we DO make good food choices and she DOES get physical activity.”  I felt like the doctor was assuming all we do is feed her Cheetos and plop her in front of the tube (which really isn’t fair to the doctor, because she was not at all preachy or condescending). Lainey did not help the matter when the doctor asked her to name some of her favorite foods. I froze and held my breath…please don’t say brownies, please don’t say brownies. Lainey thought and then enthusiastically shouted, “Cookies!! No…BROWNIES! I loooovvve brownies.” (We just made a pan this weekend of which she only got two SMALL pieces after dinner on Saturday and Tuesday.)

Had I been able to pull my thoughts together more quickly and not worried so much about sounding defensive, I would have talked more about what Lainey does eat regularly to see if maybe there are areas that could use fine tuning. But at the time of the visit, all I managed was a meek, “we really don’t let them have treats that often,” and brought up the issue of how much milk she drinks, because she drink A LOT. If they made milk can hats, she’d have one on all day and never stop slurping the white stuff. Total milk-aholic.

I’m trying to keep a cool head about this—the doctor said there is no need for any drastic action, it’s just something to be aware of. But, part of the reason I’m particularly troubled is I bring a family history of obesity to Lainey’s make-up, so since she was a baby I’ve been thinking about how to address healthy eating and how to deal with the possibility that she may naturally be heavier than her peers. I’ve been reading a lot of parenting articles lately about this issue, because I need the help. I am very fortunate that I’ve never really had to worry about my weight. But, just because I don’t have to say “no” to office donuts and can have dessert whenever I’d like, doesn’t mean I should. Healthy eating is about more than weight. It’s about building a strong, healthy body. It’s really important to me that we keep the focus on “strength” versus “fat” as we start discussing food choices with Lainey. Mark innocently dropped D-I-E-T in front of her last night, and I jumped on him about it. He didn’t understand why I was upset, and I told him it’s different for girls and we need to be careful about what we say, even at her young age. Even as a “skinny girl” in high school, I still felt pressure to go on diets and would look at my tiny frame and think I looked fat. I’ve seen too many friends suffer eating disorders in their fight with body image. I try very hard not to use the words skinny and fat when talking about how I look or feel, because I don’t want to start implanting those concepts into Lainey’s tiny head (okay, her HUGE head—maybe that’s where the extra pound is?).

After we tucked our sweet girl in last night, Mark and I talked and agreed that we’ve become a little lax on the sweet treats this summer, so we’re going to limit them to the weekends and special occasions. We’re also cutting back on her milk and cheese intake. As far as activity level, I’m not concerned there. I really do believe she gets plenty of exercise. In fact, on weekend mornings it’s a top priority for me, if for no other reason than to ensure a good, long afternoon nap!

Ah, the bumps in the road! Hopefully this one turns out to be just a tiny pebble and when Lainey goes back in June for her four-year exam we breeze right through the BMI check!

To end on a positive note, because weight is after all only one measure of health, Lainey continues to rock the development markers. She’s blows the three-year-old developmental questionnaire out of the water and is already meeting most of the four-year-old milestones. Per her daycare teacher, she is an “absolute joy” to have in class. The children all love playing with her, and she is very “confident and bright.” At the end of the day, I would much rather be worrying about a little extra weight than cognitive or social issues. Our girl is FIERCE! 

Lookin' good, lookin' fly!