Mark to the Rescue

Although this happened almost a week ago on Sunday, I’m still going to post about it, because I’m still laughing (and still a little bewildered at Mark’s behavior). Before I get to the story, let me preface by saying, of the two of us, Mark is the level-headed, calm, rational one, where as I’m a little more hot-headed, excitable, and emotional. But, not this time.

This whole situation went down in less than two minutes. Nick and I walk in the door from his doctor’s appointment and find Lainey “helping” Mark decorate the tree. The moment we took our eyes of her to discuss Nick’s ear infection, Lainey stuck her finger in a glass ornament and got it stuck. I put Nick down and said, “let me get some oil.” Nick starts screaming, because he wants to be held, so Lainey starts screaming, because she wants all the attention. However, Mark interprets her screams as her finger is being amputated by the ornament. He starts yelling, “We have to break it off! We have to break it off!” and runs and grabs a hammer. I tell him to slow his roll and to let me try the oil first. He looks me IN THE EYE and AGREES to wait, but in the two seconds it takes me to get the oil from the pantry, he goes with his plan and breaks the ornament, leaving a jagged ring of glass still stuck on Lainey’s finger. The children’s screams escalate and Mark runs to the garage again. This time he returns with the jaws of life (okay, pliers, but what he thought he was going to do with those I have no idea), just as I pour a little oil over Lainey’s finger and VERY EASILY slide the ornament (or what was left of it) off. To be honest, it came off so easily, I’m not even sure the oil was needed—there wasn’t even an indentation in her skin.

So, there are shards of broken glass all over the kitchen table and Lainey is still crying, because now the ornament is broken. I look at Mark and say, “What the heck, man?” (I kept it clean for little ears, but he knows what I was really saying to him.) And then I start laughing, because he still has a wild-eyed look and I really cannot believe he just reacted like a deranged firefighter. My laughter starts the kids’ laughter. I tell Lainey she can come to Target with me and pick out a new ornament and order is restored to the house. 

But, you can bet I’m not letting Mark forget this anytime soon. Next time he tells me to “calm down” or “relax,” I’ll be reminding him of this little scene.