Fantastic Four!

Our boy turned FOUR today! FOUR! And, let me tell you, this kid is pure magic. I won’t say he never tests our patience, but it’s nearly impossible to stay angry when he does; he knows how to turn on the charm.

Seriously, I want to record every conversation with this kid. He asks the most amazing questions and his matter-of-fact observations of the world are fantastic. Not to mention, he can deliver a pithy, one-liner with perfect comedic timing and sarcasm. Watching him deal with his highly emotional, very demanding older sister is classic. The things he says to her won’t be given justice on paper, because it’s not necessarily the words—it’s all in his tone and delivery.

My favorite line from this week:

Elaine: “How do YOU know, Nick.”

Nick: “Because I’m a professional knower.” Case. Closed.

Nick’s imagination is unending. He tells elaborate stories, filling in any details without pause. The only problem is he tells these stories as if they ACTUALLY happened, which is not such a big problem when talking about the dragon he rode last night, but does get a little awkward when he tells his playdate’s mom that his dog died today. With a straight face. And follows up with details of the dog’s name and how he died—Juder and he ate chocolate. The line between raconteur and pathological liar gets fuzzy at our house. But, I’m convinced this kid is going to do something in entertainment…

Nick’s been claiming for weeks that he won’t be adorable any more when he’s four. Sorry, buddy, no dice—you’re still absolutely adorable and we hope you stay this way for a very long time.  Happy 4th Birthday! We love you!

Important. Not Important.

I have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed the past few months. And the more there is to do, the less I want to do anything at all. I end up flitting from task to task, not finishing anything and then feeling even more stressed and behind than if I’d done nothing at all. Or I power through, but end up really grumpy about all the things I “have” to do and spend the day being bitchy and feeling lousy.

 

So, I’m trying an experiment of grouping all my responsibilities, chores, and personal commitments and activities into two categories: Important and Not Important. Important things are the must do chores like cleaning the dishes or grocery shopping, but also include stuff I just really want to do and will bring me joy, peace, or maybe both. Not important things are just that—not important. They get done or they don’t, and my world will not be greatly moved towards the better or the worse either way.

 

Important: Washing clothes. Not Important: Folding them.

 

Yes, we need clean clothes every week. But, they aren’t any cleaner out of the drawer or out of the hamper. Sometimes I’ll get to it; sometimes I won’t. But, folding and putting away laundry is no longer going to be a point of stress for me or a task that keeps me from having “enjoyment time” to read, play with the kids, take a quick nap, or watch a TV show.

 

Important: Brushing the kids’ teeth. Not Important: Brushing the kids’ hair.

 

When we’re having a hectic morning and the kids are dragging their feet, it’s time to pick our battles and just get the necessities done and get out the door; and, ideally, to do it without any yelling or crying. There is no worse mojo than starting the day fighting with the people you love most in this world.  If keeping the peace means heading to school with bed head, so be it.
 

Important: Cleaning the kitchen. Not Important: Cleaning the bathroom.
 

Some may be grossed out by this, but a sparkling bathroom just isn’t that important to me. I can live with soap scum and toothpaste blobs in the sink, if it takes something off our load during a busy week. I mean eventually it has to be done, but if I’m crunched, it’s not a top priority. I’ll take a leisurely cup of coffee on a Saturday morning over seeing Mr. Clean’s face smile back from my bath tile.  

 

Important: Making time to read. Not Important: Making time to exercise.

 

I know exercise is important, but reading both energizes and relaxes me and when I don’t have time to devote to it on a regular basis, I feel the change in my mood and attitude. So, if a quick dance party with the kids is all I can fit in on the physical front, so be it. Let’s shake it out to our current favorite, Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” and then I’m hitting the couch with a book or the newspaper.

 

For those wondering, my current read is Hillbilly Elegy:  A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance. I recommend it.

 

Important: Meeting up with friends. Not Important: Going to the school parent meet-and-greet.

 

I do want to be involved at Lainey’s school and get to know the other parents, but if I have the choice between grabbing a drink with a friend or attending a parent function, I’m choosing my friend. And not apologizing for it.

 

You get the point. And as the one-off chores and tasks pile up over the week, I’m doing my best to slate them in the appropriate column and to be really disciplined about letting the “not important” list go. No more dusting the house on a Sunday afternoon unless I’ve read (or written) for at least 30 minutes. I’m hoping that making a physical list that I can look at will help me stick to the plan. And even more so, I’m hoping the plan will help me feel less stressed and scattered and more purposeful and focused with my time. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll write a follow-up three months from now to see if this works out . . . that is if there isn’t something more important I want to write about.