Fantastic Four!

Our boy turned FOUR today! FOUR! And, let me tell you, this kid is pure magic. I won’t say he never tests our patience, but it’s nearly impossible to stay angry when he does; he knows how to turn on the charm.

Seriously, I want to record every conversation with this kid. He asks the most amazing questions and his matter-of-fact observations of the world are fantastic. Not to mention, he can deliver a pithy, one-liner with perfect comedic timing and sarcasm. Watching him deal with his highly emotional, very demanding older sister is classic. The things he says to her won’t be given justice on paper, because it’s not necessarily the words—it’s all in his tone and delivery.

My favorite line from this week:

Elaine: “How do YOU know, Nick.”

Nick: “Because I’m a professional knower.” Case. Closed.

Nick’s imagination is unending. He tells elaborate stories, filling in any details without pause. The only problem is he tells these stories as if they ACTUALLY happened, which is not such a big problem when talking about the dragon he rode last night, but does get a little awkward when he tells his playdate’s mom that his dog died today. With a straight face. And follows up with details of the dog’s name and how he died—Juder and he ate chocolate. The line between raconteur and pathological liar gets fuzzy at our house. But, I’m convinced this kid is going to do something in entertainment…

Nick’s been claiming for weeks that he won’t be adorable any more when he’s four. Sorry, buddy, no dice—you’re still absolutely adorable and we hope you stay this way for a very long time.  Happy 4th Birthday! We love you!

Important. Not Important.

I have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed the past few months. And the more there is to do, the less I want to do anything at all. I end up flitting from task to task, not finishing anything and then feeling even more stressed and behind than if I’d done nothing at all. Or I power through, but end up really grumpy about all the things I “have” to do and spend the day being bitchy and feeling lousy.

 

So, I’m trying an experiment of grouping all my responsibilities, chores, and personal commitments and activities into two categories: Important and Not Important. Important things are the must do chores like cleaning the dishes or grocery shopping, but also include stuff I just really want to do and will bring me joy, peace, or maybe both. Not important things are just that—not important. They get done or they don’t, and my world will not be greatly moved towards the better or the worse either way.

 

Important: Washing clothes. Not Important: Folding them.

 

Yes, we need clean clothes every week. But, they aren’t any cleaner out of the drawer or out of the hamper. Sometimes I’ll get to it; sometimes I won’t. But, folding and putting away laundry is no longer going to be a point of stress for me or a task that keeps me from having “enjoyment time” to read, play with the kids, take a quick nap, or watch a TV show.

 

Important: Brushing the kids’ teeth. Not Important: Brushing the kids’ hair.

 

When we’re having a hectic morning and the kids are dragging their feet, it’s time to pick our battles and just get the necessities done and get out the door; and, ideally, to do it without any yelling or crying. There is no worse mojo than starting the day fighting with the people you love most in this world.  If keeping the peace means heading to school with bed head, so be it.
 

Important: Cleaning the kitchen. Not Important: Cleaning the bathroom.
 

Some may be grossed out by this, but a sparkling bathroom just isn’t that important to me. I can live with soap scum and toothpaste blobs in the sink, if it takes something off our load during a busy week. I mean eventually it has to be done, but if I’m crunched, it’s not a top priority. I’ll take a leisurely cup of coffee on a Saturday morning over seeing Mr. Clean’s face smile back from my bath tile.  

 

Important: Making time to read. Not Important: Making time to exercise.

 

I know exercise is important, but reading both energizes and relaxes me and when I don’t have time to devote to it on a regular basis, I feel the change in my mood and attitude. So, if a quick dance party with the kids is all I can fit in on the physical front, so be it. Let’s shake it out to our current favorite, Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” and then I’m hitting the couch with a book or the newspaper.

 

For those wondering, my current read is Hillbilly Elegy:  A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance. I recommend it.

 

Important: Meeting up with friends. Not Important: Going to the school parent meet-and-greet.

 

I do want to be involved at Lainey’s school and get to know the other parents, but if I have the choice between grabbing a drink with a friend or attending a parent function, I’m choosing my friend. And not apologizing for it.

 

You get the point. And as the one-off chores and tasks pile up over the week, I’m doing my best to slate them in the appropriate column and to be really disciplined about letting the “not important” list go. No more dusting the house on a Sunday afternoon unless I’ve read (or written) for at least 30 minutes. I’m hoping that making a physical list that I can look at will help me stick to the plan. And even more so, I’m hoping the plan will help me feel less stressed and scattered and more purposeful and focused with my time. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll write a follow-up three months from now to see if this works out . . . that is if there isn’t something more important I want to write about.

 

Reconnecting

Thanks to my wonderful in-laws, Mark and I escaped for an 18-hour getaway Saturday night to see Wilco at the Chicago Theatre and enjoy a kid-free night (and more importantly, a kid-free morning).  We stayed at the Hard Rock, which has seen brighter days, but the room was free, so no complaints here! Because we don’t get out all that often as a couple, our first inclination was to try to shoehorn in as much as possible on our night away. We were debating restaurants for dinner and scouring for a cool spot for pre- and post-show drinks. But, it’s been a busy few months for us, and as the weekend neared, we realized we just needed some peace and relaxation. So instead of running around trying to make the most of the city, we kept thing quiet and made the most of our time together. And we had SO. MUCH. FUN! It almost felt like we were just two, crazy 20-somethings out on a date.

The show was fantastic—but, Wilco never disappoints. Afterward, we just went back to the hotel and vegged out on TV and convenience store junk food and were asleep by midnight. It rocked! We capped off our brief escape with a delicious breakfast at Dove’s Luncheonette in Wicker Park. Burnt-ends Brisket for me and Chicken Fried Chicken smothered in Chorizo gravy for Mark. Holy cow! Soooo good! Nothing healthy or light about it, but just the thing for a leisurely Sunday morning meal.

While, I think Mark and I do a pretty great job of staying connected, it’s so nice to escape the “parent role” for a bit and just focus on us. Thanks for the great date, Mark! And a HUGE thanks to Frank and Lonnie for making it possible!

Full Heart

We had a lovely Valentine's Day last week. Mark presented me with a box of Godiva truffles in the morning, so I could enjoy them in the peace and quiet while the kids were at school. He then surprised me that afternoon with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I loved being spoiled by my best guy, but the REAL joy of my day was being able to walk Lainey to school that morning, attend her music class performance in the morning, and then volunteer for her class party that afternoon. For a working mom, who often has to miss these moments, I loved every minute of the back-and-forth. It was an awesome way to end my brief stint of unemployment while I transitioned jobs. Happy Valentine's Day (a few days late)!

Group #1 is ready to party!

Cute Little Valentine's

Catching up...

It's been a busy couple of weeks and it seems iOS is no longer supporting the Blogger app (booo Apple and Google--work it out!), so I haven't been able to post on the go.

So here's a quick round-up of the fun happenings in our world...

Lainey's first sleepover!

Lainey had her first sleepover with her buddy Molly a few weeks back. We were at the O'Grady's for dinner and some hang time, and Maggie invited Lainey for an impromptu sleepover. I was a little worried (mostly that Lainey would rise at an ungodly hour), but my fears were for not! She slept through the night and played quietly the next morning waiting for Molly to wake up (I suggested she could also take this approach at home, but that message seems to have been forgotten). She didn't miss us at all and didn't want to leave when I came to pick here up. Thanks for having her, O'Grady's! Another big milestone in the books!

Girl Party!

I got a new job!
My dream job turned out to be a nightmare and I decided there was no reason to continue the pain. So, after two years, I've decided to move on. But, I learned a lot and made a new best friend, so I have no regrets. However, I also have no reservations about getting the hell out of there. My last day is February 10 and I start the new gig on February 15, allowing me a few days off in between. This job is in the suburbs, so that is going to be a major transition. I will miss being downtown, but the commute will give me so much more flexibility and that will be a tremendous help with two little ones.

We had Christmas the Sequel!
We finally had Brandi Christmas the weekend of January 21 and celebrated Amelia, Oliver, and Jacob's birthdays. I CANNOT BELIEVE JACOB IS 16!!! (Well, almost, he still has two more days to go!) The weekend was super short this time, but we still crammed in the fun and the love! I am a very lucky lady to have such an amazing group of in-laws. I'm proud to say that I'm one of those people who wishes her in-laws lived CLOSER to her. I owe you all an email to figure out March...

Fun with bows

34 candles!

Troop Beverly Hills, What a Thrill!
I successfully closed out the initial Girl Scout Cookies sales and assisted with the first troop meeting. There are 18 girls in our troop. EIGHTEEN! After our first meeting, I felt relieved that I only signed on as Cookie Manager and don't have to deal with THAT craziness every month. And I found a whole new respect for those kindergarten teachers who have 25 kids ALL DAY, not just 90-minutes. Yikes!

Disney on Ice
We hit up Allstate Arena this past Saturday for Disney on Ice and Mark proclaimed for the second year in a row..."this is the last year we're doing this." Famous last words, Mark. We all know you're full of it and will be sending me the email promo for tickets eight months from now. It really wasn't that bad...there was just a moment when everything went awry with two kids crying, popcorn all over the people behind us, and our coats on the floor being trampled. And we just happened to be sitting among some of the most well behaved children I've ever seen, so our kids minor transgressions seemed amplified. But, there were plenty of children in the concourse after the show that made us feel not quite so ashamed of our children's spoiled behavior over not getting snow cones.

And for the January finale...
I found time to relax...bring on February!

Nick's Entourage

Nick has taken to requiring that this bundle of stuffed animals accompany him wherever he goes. They sleep at the foot of his bed at night, travel downstairs with him in the morning, and lay right outside the kitchen at meal times. We drew the line at taking them in the car to daycare. He's added bringing the cage* to the mix in case any of the animals act up and need to go to jail. If he keeps adding animal friends, we're going to need a bigger blanket soon!

It was pretty adorable the first day or two, but two weeks later...well, it's still pretty adorable.

*Nick asked for a cage for Christmas for his bad guys, so I bought him this hamster cage. Next to The Lion Guard tree, this has been his most played with toy. And at $12, much more economical.

John, Joan, and Gene

About a month ago, Nick announced that he has brothers. It started one night when I asked him who taught him to say, “what the frek?,” and he replied, “My brother, John.” Throughout that evening, we came to learn he also has a brother Joan and brother Gene. They are all 16 and live in a castle.

He’s had many, many other brothers since this time, who usually only stick around for a day or so and are generally five-years-old and named after the first object he sees—a few names include Candy Cane, Candy Cane Lick, Towel, Cup, and Chair. Per Mark, he also proclaimed that Samuel L. Jackson was his brother when he saw him on TV (I hope during a commercial, because there is no Samuel L. Jackson movie appropriate for a three-year-old). But, all of these brothers come and go, while John, Joan, and Gene remain constant.

Despite John being blamed for “what the frek,” it appears Joan is the real trouble maker. As Nick says, “Joan’s so naughty.” He causes all kinds of trouble and makes Nick do all kinds of things he shouldn’t. I secretly love that Joan’s the bad one, because one of my dear friends is named Joan, and she is definitely the naughtiest of the group. It’s fun hearing her name around the house! John seems to be the protector and poor Gene just dies a lot—often through attack by a wild animal.

I will tell you, this kid has the most amazing imagination and I love, love, love this new element. Except for yesterday when he had a complete tantrum, because I couldn’t take a picture of his brothers. He was very mad at me, as were John, Joan, and Gene evidently. Sorry boys—I really would love to have a picture of all my sons* together!

*UPDATE: I’ve learned that John, Joan, and Gene aren’t my sons. Their mom’s name is Johnny and their dad’s name is Donny. No explanation was provided on how they became Nick’s brothers.