Penny for Your Thoughts

Lainey was playing a math game on the iPad where she needed to identify different coins. For some reason, that still mystifies Mark and me, she could not determine between a nickel and a penny. It was only when it showed the back sides, so our assumption is she was confusing the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, but c’mon…the penny is the ONLY “brown” coin!

Mark tried to help explain it to her, but Lainey knows everything and doesn’t need help from anyone, so he finally gave up and walked away. And Nick walked in…and immediately started correctly identifying the coins. I was completely shocked, because I had no idea Nick had learned anything about money, but he was all over it. After several turns for Nick, Lainey took back over, but STILL misidentified the pennies and nickels. After a few wrong choices, Nick called to me, in an all-business voice, “Mom! Bring me a penny!” I held out a handful of coins, and he correctly selected the penny, which he firmly gripped between his finger and thumb and then thrust it about three inches from Lainey’s face. “THIS is a penny, Lainey. See it? It’s brown! It’s the ONLY one that’s BROWN!” Then he slammed the coin on the table and stomped out of the kitchen.

I know we’ve often joked that Lainey is really smart and Nick has such a “great personality,” but seems Nick’s wheels are turning pretty fast up there. He may keep Lainey on her toes after all…

Chicago Reader

Lainey has made amazing progress in her reading over the past few months. We love having her read to us at night, and it's super swell that she can read to Nick when we need them distracted for a bit. Much better than the old iPad crutch (although, in all honesty, that's still our #1 go-to distractor). Although she's been reading pretty fluently since Christmas, I still get surprised by it. Like when we were driving the other day and she asked, "Mom, what's 'Best Buy'?" I was really confused about where the question came from and then realized we just drove past Best Buy. Duh. Or my favorite of this past week:

      E: "What’s ‘sos’?"

     

      M: "Sos?"

      

      E: "Yeah, ‘sos.’ S-O-S. He’s sending it out."

The Police’s “Sending out an S.O.S.” was playing on my itunes. Ha!

Buuuttt...there are some adjustments we need to make given Lainey's newfound literacy. Like, no more spelling out things to talk in code. And definitely no more unchaperoned time with our phones! She likes to send text messages to family members, which is great, but there is no way to filter incoming texts when the phone is in her possession and we definitely get (okay, okay AND send) not-safe-for-kids texts. I learned this the hard way as I listened to Lainey read an R-rated text while the phone was in her hands. Funny thing how those four-letter words are so perfect for early readers to sound out. Oops! She also scrolled through a series between Mark and me and found a conversation about herself. "Hey! Why are you guys talking about me on here?!" Luckily, it was about how she was feeling after a fever scare and not about our research for 5-year-old military academies or what the Easter Bunny needs to pick-up at Target. Close one.

She's growing up fast, this one. You know, I always was a little nervous about moving past the toddler stage. Would it be as fun? Would I still be head over heels once they aren't "cute" anymore? As usual, I had nothing to worry about. She's even more fun and way more interesting. And even as the chubby cheeks and endearing toddler speak fade away, I fall more in love every day.

The Brandi Babies Turn 4!

It’s been end of days at our house…fevers, vomiting, coughing, sore throats, pink eye, and the grossest of gross, lice. The kids are on the mend, but Mark and I are on a death crawl to the weekend. And, yes, I realize it’s only Tuesday.

We managed to take the germ infestation on the road to Moline to celebrate Nick and Eleanor’s birthdays over the weekend. Nothing says “Happy Birthday” like a ticket to urgent care (I am praying that ticket has not been cashed!) In fairness, when we departed Chicago, we only had Nick on the mend from the flu and minor colds for Mark and me. Lainey’s pink eye and lice issue didn’t appear until Sunday morning. You have not felt like a failure as a parent until you hand over a prescription for pink eye and then ask the pharmacist where you can find the RID. Could there be two ickier things? I’m just hoping we didn’t share with the rest of the family (especially after we brought the stomach flu two Christmases ago). Not so worried about the lice, but the pink eye…that stuff spreads. My very pink eyes and I are proof (and I JUST bought a new mascara!). Godspeed Southern and Western Illinois, Brandis. May you come out unscathed! We love you for loving us, despite our afflictions!

But, enough of the sick and ick…we had a really nice time with everyone. We enjoyed an afternoon at the park, pizza and basketball that night, and basically just enjoyed each other’s company. The stars of the weekend, Nick and Eleanor, continue to be an awesome duo and it just melts my heart seeing them together. I hope they continue to grow closer over the years. I wish we were all able to get together more often, but I treasure the moments we grab!

Happy Birthday, Brandi babies!

Fantastic Four!

Our boy turned FOUR today! FOUR! And, let me tell you, this kid is pure magic. I won’t say he never tests our patience, but it’s nearly impossible to stay angry when he does; he knows how to turn on the charm.

Seriously, I want to record every conversation with this kid. He asks the most amazing questions and his matter-of-fact observations of the world are fantastic. Not to mention, he can deliver a pithy, one-liner with perfect comedic timing and sarcasm. Watching him deal with his highly emotional, very demanding older sister is classic. The things he says to her won’t be given justice on paper, because it’s not necessarily the words—it’s all in his tone and delivery.

My favorite line from this week:

Elaine: “How do YOU know, Nick.”

Nick: “Because I’m a professional knower.” Case. Closed.

Nick’s imagination is unending. He tells elaborate stories, filling in any details without pause. The only problem is he tells these stories as if they ACTUALLY happened, which is not such a big problem when talking about the dragon he rode last night, but does get a little awkward when he tells his playdate’s mom that his dog died today. With a straight face. And follows up with details of the dog’s name and how he died—Juder and he ate chocolate. The line between raconteur and pathological liar gets fuzzy at our house. But, I’m convinced this kid is going to do something in entertainment…

Nick’s been claiming for weeks that he won’t be adorable any more when he’s four. Sorry, buddy, no dice—you’re still absolutely adorable and we hope you stay this way for a very long time.  Happy 4th Birthday! We love you!

Important. Not Important.

I have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed the past few months. And the more there is to do, the less I want to do anything at all. I end up flitting from task to task, not finishing anything and then feeling even more stressed and behind than if I’d done nothing at all. Or I power through, but end up really grumpy about all the things I “have” to do and spend the day being bitchy and feeling lousy.

 

So, I’m trying an experiment of grouping all my responsibilities, chores, and personal commitments and activities into two categories: Important and Not Important. Important things are the must do chores like cleaning the dishes or grocery shopping, but also include stuff I just really want to do and will bring me joy, peace, or maybe both. Not important things are just that—not important. They get done or they don’t, and my world will not be greatly moved towards the better or the worse either way.

 

Important: Washing clothes. Not Important: Folding them.

 

Yes, we need clean clothes every week. But, they aren’t any cleaner out of the drawer or out of the hamper. Sometimes I’ll get to it; sometimes I won’t. But, folding and putting away laundry is no longer going to be a point of stress for me or a task that keeps me from having “enjoyment time” to read, play with the kids, take a quick nap, or watch a TV show.

 

Important: Brushing the kids’ teeth. Not Important: Brushing the kids’ hair.

 

When we’re having a hectic morning and the kids are dragging their feet, it’s time to pick our battles and just get the necessities done and get out the door; and, ideally, to do it without any yelling or crying. There is no worse mojo than starting the day fighting with the people you love most in this world.  If keeping the peace means heading to school with bed head, so be it.
 

Important: Cleaning the kitchen. Not Important: Cleaning the bathroom.
 

Some may be grossed out by this, but a sparkling bathroom just isn’t that important to me. I can live with soap scum and toothpaste blobs in the sink, if it takes something off our load during a busy week. I mean eventually it has to be done, but if I’m crunched, it’s not a top priority. I’ll take a leisurely cup of coffee on a Saturday morning over seeing Mr. Clean’s face smile back from my bath tile.  

 

Important: Making time to read. Not Important: Making time to exercise.

 

I know exercise is important, but reading both energizes and relaxes me and when I don’t have time to devote to it on a regular basis, I feel the change in my mood and attitude. So, if a quick dance party with the kids is all I can fit in on the physical front, so be it. Let’s shake it out to our current favorite, Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” and then I’m hitting the couch with a book or the newspaper.

 

For those wondering, my current read is Hillbilly Elegy:  A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance. I recommend it.

 

Important: Meeting up with friends. Not Important: Going to the school parent meet-and-greet.

 

I do want to be involved at Lainey’s school and get to know the other parents, but if I have the choice between grabbing a drink with a friend or attending a parent function, I’m choosing my friend. And not apologizing for it.

 

You get the point. And as the one-off chores and tasks pile up over the week, I’m doing my best to slate them in the appropriate column and to be really disciplined about letting the “not important” list go. No more dusting the house on a Sunday afternoon unless I’ve read (or written) for at least 30 minutes. I’m hoping that making a physical list that I can look at will help me stick to the plan. And even more so, I’m hoping the plan will help me feel less stressed and scattered and more purposeful and focused with my time. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll write a follow-up three months from now to see if this works out . . . that is if there isn’t something more important I want to write about.

 

Reconnecting

Thanks to my wonderful in-laws, Mark and I escaped for an 18-hour getaway Saturday night to see Wilco at the Chicago Theatre and enjoy a kid-free night (and more importantly, a kid-free morning).  We stayed at the Hard Rock, which has seen brighter days, but the room was free, so no complaints here! Because we don’t get out all that often as a couple, our first inclination was to try to shoehorn in as much as possible on our night away. We were debating restaurants for dinner and scouring for a cool spot for pre- and post-show drinks. But, it’s been a busy few months for us, and as the weekend neared, we realized we just needed some peace and relaxation. So instead of running around trying to make the most of the city, we kept thing quiet and made the most of our time together. And we had SO. MUCH. FUN! It almost felt like we were just two, crazy 20-somethings out on a date.

The show was fantastic—but, Wilco never disappoints. Afterward, we just went back to the hotel and vegged out on TV and convenience store junk food and were asleep by midnight. It rocked! We capped off our brief escape with a delicious breakfast at Dove’s Luncheonette in Wicker Park. Burnt-ends Brisket for me and Chicken Fried Chicken smothered in Chorizo gravy for Mark. Holy cow! Soooo good! Nothing healthy or light about it, but just the thing for a leisurely Sunday morning meal.

While, I think Mark and I do a pretty great job of staying connected, it’s so nice to escape the “parent role” for a bit and just focus on us. Thanks for the great date, Mark! And a HUGE thanks to Frank and Lonnie for making it possible!

Full Heart

We had a lovely Valentine's Day last week. Mark presented me with a box of Godiva truffles in the morning, so I could enjoy them in the peace and quiet while the kids were at school. He then surprised me that afternoon with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I loved being spoiled by my best guy, but the REAL joy of my day was being able to walk Lainey to school that morning, attend her music class performance in the morning, and then volunteer for her class party that afternoon. For a working mom, who often has to miss these moments, I loved every minute of the back-and-forth. It was an awesome way to end my brief stint of unemployment while I transitioned jobs. Happy Valentine's Day (a few days late)!

Group #1 is ready to party!

Cute Little Valentine's