Dude Still Looks Like a Lady

Maybe it's those soft, soft hands of his, but evidently something about Mark just says "mama" to our kids. If you'll recall, Lainey went through a "daddy is mommy" phase, and Nick is following right in her footsteps. For some unexplicable reason, Nick started calling Mark "Mama" a few weeks ago. The difference with Nick is he mainly calls Mark "mama" when he's upset or wants Mark's attention--maybe it's Nick's form of punishment. If Mark leaves the room, Nick will let loose with a forlorn call of "Mama" and go chasing after him. Today, even though the real Mama was holding him, Nick wailed "Maaaaaaa-maaaaaa" arms outstreched and tears rolling down his face, because Mark dared go to the bathroom.

I personally don't want to hear any complaints. Mark is Nick's best friend. I'd let Nick call me "Dada" all day, if he adored me a fraction of the way he adores Mark. At least I get to hear my name...

Mama's make good nap buddies

Mom (formerly known as Kylie)

I’m having a bit of an identity crisis. I realized it might be time for some self-reflection when I had a mild panic attack while shopping for some new clothes online. The search for new black pants should not make me hyperventilate, but as I hopped from website to website and scrolled through pages of thumbnails, it occurred to me that I have no idea what is on trend right now—do people still wear boot cut? Or is skinny the only way to go? Straight leg looks polular. And what is this “drapey” style I see?  Too many choices!!! Even worse, as I tried to zero in on a few key wardrobe addtions, I was at a complete loss as to what my personal style is these days—assuming one should not adopt yoga pants and event t-shirts as her personal style. Not that I have ever been a super-edgy, fashionista, but I used to know how to throw an outfit together and doll myself up right. And shopping has certainly never been a stress-inducing activity. I ended up just shutting down the computer.

The shopping meltdown led me to start thinking about other ways I feel out-of-touch these days.  The only way I keep up on current events is through my daily “Skimm” e-newsletter and viewings of The Daily Show as I nod off at night. As far as what's happing in the world of pop culture--beats me! I couldn’t name one song on the top 40, if you offered me a winning lottery ticket to do it and could name maybe 1 or 2 actors under the age of 35. Which some may say is a good thing, but it just makes me feel old. I find myself totally confused when scrolling through facebook and Instagram, trying to decipher all the acronyms and emoji and figure out what the hell people are talking about. Thank heaven for Urban Dictionary!

As for my literature knowledge, could someone please remind me what a novel is again? When Chris and Sean visited this summer, the subject of “what books have you read” came up. Four years ago, I would have rattled off at least four or five recent reads. This time I was like “uh, uh…But, Not the Hippopotamus? What? You haven’t read it? You should…it’s a classic. Great take on marginalization with a total surprise ending of the oppressed becoming the oppressor. I really felt for the armadillo.”

And then there is the issue of lapsed communications with friends. Friends, whom I love so dearly and miss every day, but I just can’t seem to find the time to call or email, let alone find time to actually SEE. And each day that passes seems to make it harder to reach out and I fear by the time I get my act together those relationships may just silently slip away.

Lately, I just feel like I’m stumbling through each day, trying to get it all done, but with no clear purpose. I feel I’m always reactive, not proactive, and it’s giving me a case of the “icks.” I’m a planner by nature. I like a clean “to do” list that gets cleared regularly. I like time to myself. I like extra sleep. I like lazy days with a good book and long brunches with friends. None of these “likes” are really compatible with my life right now. Outside of time with the kids, I’m forgetting what else interests me and brings me joy.

I know this is a phase of life. I know it will not last forever. I know in a flash I’ll have two teenagers who are NEVER home and NEVER want my attention. But, while I’m on this ride of motherhood and total infatuation with my young ones, what happens if I forget how to be me? 

Weight of the Matter

Lainey had her three-year check-up yesterday. The good news is she is a happy, well-developed little girl. She did great answering the doctor’s questions and FINALLY agreed to stand on the scale alone! I credit her newfound cooperation to a well-timed episode of Daniel Tiger visiting the doctor and, of course, Doc McStuffins.  

But, all was not rosy. It turns out Lainey’s BMI is a little too high and she is, in fact, overweight. Not by much—we’re talking one pound—but, she’s “at risk” for a weight problem. This news was like a punch in my gut. The doctor started talking about making better food choices and seeing that Lainey’s getting plenty of physical activity. I sat there trying to keep cool and not scream “but, we DO make good food choices and she DOES get physical activity.”  I felt like the doctor was assuming all we do is feed her Cheetos and plop her in front of the tube (which really isn’t fair to the doctor, because she was not at all preachy or condescending). Lainey did not help the matter when the doctor asked her to name some of her favorite foods. I froze and held my breath…please don’t say brownies, please don’t say brownies. Lainey thought and then enthusiastically shouted, “Cookies!! No…BROWNIES! I loooovvve brownies.” (We just made a pan this weekend of which she only got two SMALL pieces after dinner on Saturday and Tuesday.)

Had I been able to pull my thoughts together more quickly and not worried so much about sounding defensive, I would have talked more about what Lainey does eat regularly to see if maybe there are areas that could use fine tuning. But at the time of the visit, all I managed was a meek, “we really don’t let them have treats that often,” and brought up the issue of how much milk she drinks, because she drink A LOT. If they made milk can hats, she’d have one on all day and never stop slurping the white stuff. Total milk-aholic.

I’m trying to keep a cool head about this—the doctor said there is no need for any drastic action, it’s just something to be aware of. But, part of the reason I’m particularly troubled is I bring a family history of obesity to Lainey’s make-up, so since she was a baby I’ve been thinking about how to address healthy eating and how to deal with the possibility that she may naturally be heavier than her peers. I’ve been reading a lot of parenting articles lately about this issue, because I need the help. I am very fortunate that I’ve never really had to worry about my weight. But, just because I don’t have to say “no” to office donuts and can have dessert whenever I’d like, doesn’t mean I should. Healthy eating is about more than weight. It’s about building a strong, healthy body. It’s really important to me that we keep the focus on “strength” versus “fat” as we start discussing food choices with Lainey. Mark innocently dropped D-I-E-T in front of her last night, and I jumped on him about it. He didn’t understand why I was upset, and I told him it’s different for girls and we need to be careful about what we say, even at her young age. Even as a “skinny girl” in high school, I still felt pressure to go on diets and would look at my tiny frame and think I looked fat. I’ve seen too many friends suffer eating disorders in their fight with body image. I try very hard not to use the words skinny and fat when talking about how I look or feel, because I don’t want to start implanting those concepts into Lainey’s tiny head (okay, her HUGE head—maybe that’s where the extra pound is?).

After we tucked our sweet girl in last night, Mark and I talked and agreed that we’ve become a little lax on the sweet treats this summer, so we’re going to limit them to the weekends and special occasions. We’re also cutting back on her milk and cheese intake. As far as activity level, I’m not concerned there. I really do believe she gets plenty of exercise. In fact, on weekend mornings it’s a top priority for me, if for no other reason than to ensure a good, long afternoon nap!

Ah, the bumps in the road! Hopefully this one turns out to be just a tiny pebble and when Lainey goes back in June for her four-year exam we breeze right through the BMI check!

To end on a positive note, because weight is after all only one measure of health, Lainey continues to rock the development markers. She’s blows the three-year-old developmental questionnaire out of the water and is already meeting most of the four-year-old milestones. Per her daycare teacher, she is an “absolute joy” to have in class. The children all love playing with her, and she is very “confident and bright.” At the end of the day, I would much rather be worrying about a little extra weight than cognitive or social issues. Our girl is FIERCE! 

Lookin' good, lookin' fly!

18 Months and Doin' Fine!

We had Nick's 18-month check-up today, and I happy to report we still have a big, strong, healthy boy. Here's his latest stats: 28 lbs., 8 oz.  (90%), 33.5 inches (75%) and 19.5 inch head circumference (90%).

Nick's hitting all his milestones...no more gross motor lags for our rough and tumble guy! He is jabbering non-stop and I pretty much think every new word he picks up is the most adorable ever.
Lainey is his best friend (and his worst enemy). When they aren't hugging and kissing each other, they are pushing and hitting, but Nick gives as good as he gets these days. We've started giving some time outs for hitting. He's also started with the temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants, but his seem less volatile that Lainey's (or maybe we're just hardened parents at this point).

Nick's doing great using utensils and has started drinking from a regular cup with moderate success. He's on his way to ditching the highchair and moving to a booster seat at the table. Right now we're just letting him choose which he wants and it seems to be alternating every other meal. Of course, once he decides the highchair is no more, we have to come up with a new configuration for the kitchen table, because only three of us can fit around it now.

Daycare is still going great for Nick! He gets excited walking up to the building and there are never any tears when we leave. The teachers LOVE him and tell me what a good boy he is every day.

Here's a recent photo of Nick from the park. His nose is almost done healing, just one little scab left! Love this happy, little guy!

Ouch!

Nick’s had his first big injury this past weekend. Sunday morning our little guy took a tumble off the curb and broke his fall with his face. He scraped his forehead and cheek and completely wrecked his nose. I was in the house when it happened, but Mark said he practically nose-dived into the sidewalk and the “thud” was really loud when he hit, so I think we’re lucky it wasn’t worse. All his teeth are still in place and no bruising. He still looks like Rudolph, but the scab under his nose came off and his forehead is almost cleared up.

Nick was a tough guy! Just some initial crying and a good cuddle session with a non-bedtime binky treat and he was back to his old happy self. It took Mark most of the day to get over it (actually, I think he’s still getting over it).

Hey, if they never get a scrape, they aren't having enough fun, right?

Still feeling kind of sad...

Ready to rock again...what bloody nose?

Coming Up for Air...

Last week was just a mess. Icky. Stressful. Looooong.

My cozy intro at my job wore off and things went into warp speed, resulting in a late work night on a Friday. Ugh. On the home front, the kids had a bad sleep week, and I was miles behind on house work from overindulging in fun and ignoring chores Labor Day weekend. Then cooler temperatures descended and I realized the kids had nothing to wear, always a fun discovery at 6:00 AM during the work week. It seemed for every one thing I got off my list, five things were added, and the more I had to do, the more I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep, which is what I ended up doing Saturday afternoon. I had intended to just take a quick 20-minute nap next to Lainey, but I fell asleep hard and fast with my little lady cuddled up next to me and didn’t stir for over two hours. Oops…

I beat myself up for sleeping instead whittling down my “to do” list. Just as I was getting myself really agitated, I managed to stop, breathe, and imagine what I would say to a friend in my situation. Then I took my own advice and decided nothing life shattering was on my list and the world would keep turning if I never did even one thing on it. Then I stopped cleaning the kitchen and went and colored with Lainey.

This week is proving to be another challenging one (and will be capped off by Mark taking a weekend trip away). I’ll be trying to keep perspective and stay positive instead of letting the doldrums creep up on me.  But, they’re sneaky little suckers, those duldrums…good thing I have my two sunshines to help battles them away!

Worry for Nothing

Well, my strategy worked. I worried myself sick and sleepless over the daycare transition, and it turn out to be all for naught. I'm happy to report that the first week at the new daycare went very well!  

Nick is having some trouble at morning drop-off, but no worse than what we went through when he transitioned to the toddler room at CLP. Lainey dragged her feet and pouted a bit the first two drop-offs, but no tears and she was fine Thursday and Friday, and evidently is doing amazing during the day. The teachers seem really great and have been very communicative and patient with us this first week. 

And the icing on the cake is a much more enjoyable commute for everyone, including Friday evening beers on the Metra for Mark and me! Fun way to start  the weekend!

          Cheers to life getting a little easier!