Busy Times...

Haven't had the bandwidth to get any blogging done recently, but I can at least post some cute pictures...

Enjoying breakfast with his classmates

I hope you like your martini well shaken

Charming himself out of naptime confinement

Frogger

She's become a pro shoveler

Lainey's First Manicure

After months of talking about it, Mark and I have finally decided to try using a rewards chart to help tame Lainey's behavior and improve her listening (aka doing what we tell her to do without having to repeat it 100 times). 

We're using a basic chart with open squares for stickers and she gets a reward when she earns five. Since Lainey is already such a sticker fiend, we bought special star stickers that are JUST for the chart. We rolled out the new "program" this morning. It got off to a rocky start, as she threw tantrums after the first two stickers because she wanted more (a perfect example of the behavior we're trying to stymie). But, by end of the night (and sticker number 7), things were going smoothly. I think this may be just the thing to get us on the right track of appropriate behavior and get off what has felt of late to be constant yelling, nagging, or punishing--no fun for anyone.

Lainey got star #5 for staying in her chair and having good manners at lunch, winning her her first reward! She chose to have her fingernails painted. She's been asking about it a lot lately, so I thought it would make a great impact. Of course, it did cause some issues later because she was afraid if she washed her hands, it would wash off the polish. That fear caused two pee accidents, because she knows she has to wash her hands after going to the bathroom. She finally believed us that the polish would stay on after bathtime when her nails were still as purple as before. 

So, now that we have one day under our belts, I'm looking forward to tomorrow and seeing if this new system helps our strongwilled diva become a little more cooperative and check the tantrums at the door. 

                          The Chart

                  Pretty Purple Nails

First tooth!

Nick first tooth broke the surface today! It's barely visible at this point, but we should have a full-blown bottom tooth in the next week or so. Wish us luck that he gets through the experience relatively pain-free. 

11 months for Nicholas!

Our little guy is heading into the final stretch of his first trip around the sun! Other than the stair climbing already reported on earlier this month, not much new is happening with Nick. He's just a big, happy boy. He's still sporting a toothless smile, so bets are on as to whether he'll pop one through before his birthday.

My favorite thing right now is watching him eat. I swear he's the most adorable little eater ever. Where Lainey would just shovel handfuls of food in her mouth as quickly as possible, Nick's got this perfect little pincer grasp and picks up one piece of food at time and slowly puts it in his mouth. He likes to savor his chow and has a very thoughtful look as he gums away. I think he's going to be a foodie. 

Happy 11 months my best boy!

                    Me and My Guy

Elaine Brandi's Brother

I grew up the younger sibling to quite the extraordinary older brother. It was always, "so, you're Chris Anderson's sister. We expect big things from you." The ongoing comparisons caused me to dub him "Golden Boy" when I was around 10. Even in college, I was right on his heels and in direct comparison. I remember one professor stopping mid-lecture as it suddenly dawned on him that I was that Anderson. He seemed truly flummoxed that I belonged to Chris.

I suppose the whole situation could have been worse if I weren't an above average student myself. While I wasn't "Chris" smart, I wasn't hurting in the intellect department, and I had a few talents that Chris did not, so my self-esteem didn't take a crushing blow from falling short of my older brother's achievements. But, I won't pretend that it didn't grow tiring being identified as "Chris's sister."

Rest assured that at 34 I'm not feeling the chill of Golden Boy's shadow. But those old feelings were stirred up over the weekend when realizing I compare Nick to Lainey much more than I should. While I suppose it's natural to use Lainey as a benchmark for development (she is the baby I know best), I get a little too antsy when Nick's not at the same milestone she was at his age. While she has always blown away the standard developmental markers (sometimes by months), he recently "failed" his 10-month developmental questionnaire. His communication and fine motor skills are solid, but he's struggling a bit in the gross motor category. After talking through a few items with the doctor and the progress he's made in the past month, she felt confident it was nothing to be worried about and he didn't require and extra trip to the office before his one-year check up. She gave me the "all babies develop differently" speech, but I still joked with Mark that Nick is going to grow up "Elaine Brandi's brother."

I suppose comparisons are inevitable if  you have a sibling close in age, and the younger one will always be the second on the scene. It's just something I want to be cognizant of as they grow and start pursuing interests. There are a lot of things I did along the way simply because Chris did them first, not because I was particularly interested. And there were also things I didn't go after, because he had already been there, done that, and killed it, so why even bother.

As time goes on and things getting more complicated than who sat up or walked first, I'm not sure what I'll do from a parenting standpoint to help my kids find their own identities independent of each other. I'll just have to wait and see how things shake out. Who knows, maybe this will be a complete non-issue for them. At the end of the day, if my biggest worry for my kids' well being is whether they both get ample opportunity to shine, I'll take it and count my blessings!

I hope I can still get this shot when they're teenagers

                                              

Stair Climber

Stairs weren't something we had to deal with when Lainey was a babe, but Nick has discovered them and can't get enough. Every chance he gets he makes a break for the staircase and starts climbing. We tell him "no," but he just looks over his shoulder, laughs, and keeps on truckin'--and he's FAST. Guess we're going to have to finally open that baby gate we bought when we moved into the house.

Rock Bottom? I don't think so...

Article:  My Rock-Bottom Mom Moment Caught on Camera

I just read this article, and while I agree that it's great for parents to show and discuss their not-so-perfect moments, I don't think the overall tone of this piece really delivers on the supposed message that, as parents, we have low moments, but aren't necessarily bad parents because of them.

To give a quick synopsis, there is a picture of her three kids--the infant being fed by the six-year-old while he watches something on an iPad, and the oldest sitting in the baby carrier while she watches something on an iPad. She did this so she could keep them occupied and get ready for an evening out. The picture is funny, but I would hardly call this a "rock bottom" moment. I call it "life with kids." I mean, you can see some version of this scene DAILY around our house (and we only have two kids). The title of the piece made me roll my eyes, but her closing paragraph flat out annoyed me:

"Bottom line: I think it's important for moms to share the "doing-whatever-it-takes" moments as well as the Pinterest-inspired, picture-perfect ones. Would I have posted this on Facebook? Um, no. Am I proud of it? Not really. But I’m taking one for the mom team and throwing myself under the bus here so that other moms can feel better about some of their own subpar parenting. You’re welcome." 

Well, thanks so much, but I neither think you are throwing yourself "under the bus," nor is this what I call "rock bottom." Let me enlighten you on rock bottom...

A rock bottom moment is when you yell at your 10-month-old to "shut up," because it's 4:30am, you've had two hours of sleep, you're battling a severe cold, and you're petrified that he's going to wake your two-year-old.

A rock bottom moment is when you call your two-year-old "a little brat" to HER FACE, after you've spent the day battling her and listening to her scream and you just lose your sh*t for two seconds and forget you're the adult and she's ONLY TWO.

A rock bottom moment is when you've had a really hard week and find yourself running to the grocery at 9:30pm and instead of going over your list in your head you're thinking, "What if I just don't go back?"

A rock bottom moment is when you shut yourself in the hall pantry so you can pound your fists and stomp your feet and throw one hell of a temper tantrum without your kids seeing you (but, I will give myself points for  having the forethought not to let them witness it).

These are things that I truly am not proud of. These are things that make me question my parenting. These are the things that I have to forgive myself for and then try to do better the next day. Giving my kids a little screen time, so I can get showered and dressed for a party? That's just keeping sane.

While the gesture of the article is nice, the example kind of sucked and definitely didn't make me feel better as a parent. Her "subpar" parenting is my daily parenting. So if that's her standard, I guess I am a looooooong way from the "Pinterest-inspired, picture-perfect" kind of parenting. And that's okay.  And I still get it right way more than I get it wrong. And I'm still a good mom.